THE RIGHT TO NOT TURN RIGHT

Welcome to Mosman, home of the Bold, the Beautiful and some of the silliest ideas suggested, writes Mick Cartonne. 

This week in urban affairs, the rest of Sydney was shocked to learn that a proposal was being put forward to Mosman Council recommending the installation of a boom gate that would only allow street access to the residents.

To me this was simply confirmation that Napoleon was spot on the money when he once told the world: "In politics, absurdity is not a handicap."

In other words, road usage in Bay St, Beauty Point, would become exclusive.



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The public argument being presented to Mosman Council on Tuesday night was that rat-runners would have to stick to the main road (Military Rd) instead of using the narrow Harbourside St to beat city-bound traffic. 

Sadly the minutes of that meeting are not yet available on the Council's website but when they are, you can rest assured, that this MP (member of the public) will continue to follow this story as it unfolds.  

Calls for this extreme measure in part have been prompted by fears that when the Roads and Traffic Authority expands the capacity of the Spit Bridge (more commonly known as the Shit Bridge when you're sitting in traffic for 20 minutes because someone returning home on their Yacht is taking in the view of Middle Harbour), peak-hour use of the sacred back streets will get worse. 

And to no one's surprise this idea, of course, was proposed by one of the local councillors. The man responsible is the right-honorable Cr Jim Reid. 

Reid told Daily Telegraph this week that people who live in Beauty Point (are all the people living there really beautiful?) are affected with "dangerous AM peak traffic travelling at inappropriate speed and manner along narrow and twisty residential roads. Residents deserve a solution."

He added that previous attempts by the council to close off the deviation had been met with "obstruction and lame excuses from the RTA who demand it be open". 

In other words, madness was given the red light. 

It was thought that a rate levy or charging for cards could pay for the gate.

Residents, applying basic economics, felt the boom gate was pointless and expensive and that a right turn into Bay St could be banned for good to keep out non-residents. How thoughtful of the locals.  

It was also felt that the gate would be a target for vandalism. Geez, I wonder why?  

Well, Jim, there are plenty of ways to stop the hoons without disturbing innocent motorists such as myself who pass through the area as is the right of every person on the road.

Please tell me if you've ever heard of the following:

• Speed Cameras
• More Speed Cameras
• Narrowing the street by convincing residents to park in it instead of their driveways. So, a few millionaires might go to work with a dent in the back of their BMW's. I'm sure they can afford to buy a new one on their lunch-break. 
• Request more traffic enforcement in the area concerned.
• Buy radar guns and let the locals stand at the side of the street and record drivers' speeds. In fact, you could make three-times the revenue by renting the radar guns to residents and adding a tax to the rent.   
• Build more speed humps
• Add removable mats that look like pot holes onto the road. Some motorists will try and straddle it, but most I'm pretty sure would hit their brakes hard and slow down.    

Get the general idea, Jim? 

Road and Transport polices developed like the one proposed are as ridiculous as amateur hour at open mic night. 

Won't it be fabulous when the time comes to sell the house and those interested in buying the joint can't be bothered filling out an application form to be given clearance to enter the street? 

Perhaps then the exclusive citizens assembly might then re-consider rolling back this policy. 

This is not an isolated example of outdated ideas coming to life in Mosman. 

Who could forget the brilliant plan to ban personal trainers at Balmoral Beach because it destroys the local's sun vista and disturbs their precious sleep? 

Or how about banning dogs from outdoor seating at cafes. And don't get me started about the introduction of parking metres right by the beach.

Next I suppose they'll be charging people for removing their clothes at Obelisk Beach. 

The residents of Mosman and their local government might like to take some advice from Julia Gillard and start moving forward instead of bending over backwards.  

I have to be fair though.

Not all incentives to avoid snooty suburbs can be blamed on acts of local government. The price of dinner or coffee in ritzy areas is offensive enough. 

Then there are those well-to-do cougars wearing all sorts of jewelry and driving home in the latest anti-environment sports car who love to stare at you as if you're from another planet. 

This novel idea simply adds to the aggravating fact of life that the mentality of some people in affluent areas, is that they are special. 

Reality check; they are not.

No matter the volume of their wealth, who they associate with let alone what class of seat the well-off may fly, one day they'll end up incontinent like the rest of us. 

The only difference is they'll be ruining a more expensive brand of adult nappies. 

90 per cent of us can't afford to live next door to Australia's Next Top Snobs. Now they don't even want to breathe in our car fumes. I am outraged. 

So the next time you seek asylum from the heat and decide to travel to Manly beach via the Spit Bridge, those from the East, the West and the South, be warned; 

The residents of Mosman will decide who comes to their area, under what circumstances and by what roads.That being everybody's else's but theirs.  

Don't be alarmed, just be alert.