Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the smartest student of them all? Answer: the one up the back of the classroom chatting to his international contacts on his Wireless Connected IPHONE.
This week the Australian media reported that Aussie high school and university students were outsourcing their homework to sweatshops in India, Pakistan and Egypt.
Would all the economics teachers please stop laughing in the hallways? Your distracting your students from negotiating an important trade agreement. Shhhhhhh!!!! Thank you.
The story leads us to believe that for as little as $2, you can have an English essay or Maths paper completed for you.
According to the Daily Telegraph, a 23-year-old Pakistani graduate admitted to producing essays and papers for high school and university students at a bargain-basement price of $2 per 100 words.
"It's my part-time job,", Mohammed Ali Khan from Islamabad told the tabloid paper.
"Australians mainly ask for university papers but I've done some high-school work, too."
Wow. Nothing could possibly go wrong with this little hair-brained scheme, except maybe say, parent-teacher night.
I can see how the scheme would come undone. Something along these lines.
Mr and Mrs Howard turn up to Higgins High School to find out how their son, John, is performing.
Teacher: Mr and Mrs Howard, I'm afraid I've got some bad news. Little Johnny's assignments are illegible.
Mr Howard: But he's still passing them, isn't he?
Teacher: That has yet to be determined by most of his teachers.
Mrs Howard: Oooh, dear.This sounds serious.
Teacher: It is. I'm afraid not one teacher has been able to mark or critique any of John's work this semester, making it impossible to rank him with his intellectual peers.
Mr Howard: Well, what exactly is the problem?
Teacher: We can't read his writing.
Mr Howard: For god's sake, man, he's a year 7 high school student, not a bloody doctor. We fixed his running writing in Summer School.
Teacher: His writing his legible. But we would prefer it if he'd submit all future work in English.
Mr Howard: Stone the crows. What's he been writing in?
Teacher: In standard Hindi.
Mr Howard: IN WHAT?
Teacher: Your son is an outstanding Indian writer.
Mr Howard: Then he's obviously passing at least one of his subjects.
Teacher: We don't teach that language at Higgins High.
For the record, it was not THAT John Howard.
Matt Barrie, founder of www.freelancer.com, a website which puts small businesses in touch with affordable labour in emerging economies claims homework assignments were frequently submitted to his site.
"We get them all the time. As a lecturer myself, I really don't approve, but kids will be kids - they will always find a way to cheat."
Is this really cheating or the discovery of a positive use for globalization? You decide.
In a world where the authentically inauthentic appear to be sapping the top-dollars and getting the big breaks, its hard not to subscribe to a simple philosophy.
When it comes to getting ahead, It's not what you know but who you know that knows what you don't.
Outsourcing...is this the answer? Maybe. I just hope it's the right one come exam time.
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