PROTECTING YOU

I write to you from victory towers this morning after reading that Independent MP Andrew Wilkie has successfully passed a bill in the House of Reps, protecting journalists who have to keep their sources secret.

It is now expected that the bill will likely pass in the Senate.  

Which newspaper did I turn to for such life-altering news? 

I can't tell you. Its a secret. 

What page did I find the article on? Call me back in fifteen minutes. (Note to self: turn voice mail on) 

My new best friend says I don't have to disclose any of that namby, pamby, info. What is his or her name? Can't tell you. Not because of Wilkie's bill but because I have a terrible time remembering names.
   
Consuming a healthy hot breakfast that did involve the assistance of up to three different sauces - which I won't reveal - I was taken ill due to a problem of the unknown kind and had to go for a walk.

Where did I walk to on my walk to recovery? 

I tried to find the name of the damn place but some pot smoking goose went out on an all-night high and sprayed out the name of the area right below the "Welcome to" sign. 

Which in a way I guess is a good thing because that means the source of my breakfast cannot be identified and therefore can't get any free advertising...the cheap bastards! 

The story was 3 paragraphs long but the journalist who wrote it appears to be very shy as a byline was not included.  
  
Somebody at the secret paper needs to tell their editor that protecting sources does not include the name of the journalist even if the pen-pusher is the reader's source of information.

Because if reader's are allowed to be protected from poor sources of information and entertainment, well I guess the curtain is going to come down on a lot of people who should be recycling coke cans and not their careers.  

Mine is not included, of course.  

If we really are serious about protecting our sources why is Matt from Pyrmont being credited in something confidential with spotting Ronan and his family at a place called flying fish?

I didn't mention the above celebrity's full-name because I wanted to observe Ronan Keatings privacy ..ooops. 

Sorry, I'm a columnist and these new laws are a bit like riding a bike with training wheels on a cycleway built by Clover Moore. I need some time to get used this new world of protectionism. 

Matt , who spotted Ronan, obviously is very protective of his privacy, therefore he should have been given a red alert protective pseudonym such as Dick Fitzwell or Juan Kerr. 

The last thing we need is a celebrity tracking down a celebrity obsessed fan and revealing their weekend habits. May God help us if fairness ever makes its way into the mangled mess that is journalism. 

Somebody needs to protect us from ourselves and Andrew Wilkie, you are the man for this job. 

I salute you.

Image credits:

1. Newpaper - Wikimedia Commons.
2. Ronan Keating - http://www.flickr.com/photos/vagueonthehow/ (Wikipedia)