Mick Cartonne: Outgoing premier, Kerri-Anne Keneally, thanks for your time.
Kristine Keneally: This is Kristine Keneally, the incumbent Premier of NSW. It's nice to be here.
MC: My apologies, Premier. Due to budget cutbacks, we lost a dozen researchers last week.
KK: I'm sorry to hear that. Can I just say..
MC: Premier, I'm going to have to interrupt you there for a moment. In news which is just breaking, our management have just sacked all the copy editors due to the next global financial crisis. I'm chatting with future Opposition Leader, Christina Keneally.
With less than 3 months to go until NSW voters head to the polls, how are you and your colleagues feeling?
KK: We know we've got a tough fight on our hands but I would say, Micheal, that right now the atmosphere is quite electric.
MC: I'm Mick. Mick Cartonne.
KK Don't you write a funny weekend column for a newspaper?
MC: I get that all the time. But no, I'm not a left-handed writer. There are plenty of subtle differences between myself and the veteran columnist your confusing me with.
KK: Such as?
MC: Well, he's got less hair and scoots around Sydney in a restored Jaguar.
KK: And what do you drive to work, Mick?
MC: Me? Oh, I opt for a Mercedes.
KK: What model?
MC: I usually catch the 190 bus to Palm Peach.
KK: I'm sure the people of NSW will take comfort in knowing that public transport serves a journalist of your standing very well.
MC: Premier, before I move on, I've been advised by some of our listeners to wish you a HAPPY NEW YEAR.
KK: (Laughs hysterically): Oh Mick, you're killing me with the oxymorons. That's why I listen to this segment every week when parliament isn't sitting.
MC: Well, that's very nice of you to say, Premier, but this is my very first interview.
KK: I'm sure the people of Newwwwwww Southhhhhhhhhhhh Walesssssss look forward to improving their education care of your weekly wit.
MC: In the past you've admitted you don't like Opposition Leader, Barry O'Farrell and yet according to a December survey taken by Newspoll, 40 per cent of people prefer him over you as Premier. How could so many people be wrong?
KK: I am alarmed by the high levels of poor literacy in this state and that survey you just mentioned simply reinforces the need to address this issue.
MC: With all due respect, how do poor literacy levels amongst the electorate contribute to your governments lack of popularity?
KK: Poor literacy, Mick, prevents the people from being able to read and examine what is on Barry O'Farrell's menu. If they could chew the fat on some of Barry's ideas, I think we'd be in a different state.
MC: And just what is on Barry's menu?
KK: Quite a lot I would imagine.
MC: Can you give an example of a negative policy being spruiked by the NSW Opposition Leader?
KK: Not at the moment, no.
MC: Why not?
KK: He hasn't released them yet.
MC: The policies?
KK: The negative one's.
MC: How would NSW be worse off if the Liberals regained power in three months time?
KK: My government is very concerned that higher unemployment would immediately follow a change in government.
MC: And where would this new source of unemployment come from?
KK: History indicates to us that positions in the public service would be the most vulnerable.
MC: How many public servants do you expect will lose their jobs under the Liberals?
KK: Specifically speaking?
MC: Yes
KK: One
MC: Which position?
KK: Speculatively speaking?
MC: That'd help.
KK: My job.
MC: Thanks for your time, Christine
KK: Its always a pleasure chatting with you, Mikel.
All commentary in the above interview is satirically fictitious and not based on real life conversations. We thank you for not taking it seriously, especially the Lawyers. (c) 2010 Melrose Politics.
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